Hen Dekigoto
by Tig Jones
Summary: [strange occurance] With Van's death, Hitomi has forgotten Gaea. Five years later, people begin to enter her life who she could swear she had met before, none more so than her attractive neighbour, Van Fanelli. [Complete]
1. part 1

Hen Dekigoto By Tig Jones 

Disclaimer: Tenkuu no Escaflowne is owned by Sunrise and Bandai, and a whole bunch of people who aren't me.

* * *

It happened four months after her return; just one week after she saw him at the train station. She was sitting in class, daydreaming as her teacher lectured on about functions or calculus, or something that she could not get herself interested in. Suddenly she was shaken from her reverie by a flash of unbearable pain. She fell from her seat with a cry, and lay quaking on the floor. 

"Kanzaki!"

"Hitomi!" She heard Yukari cry through the blinding pain. Hitomi curled into a ball on her side as she struggled to open her eyes through the tears. Feathers floated around the classroom, burning into ashes as they touched the floor.

She screamed in anguish. Yukari grabbed her shoulder in concern.

"What is it, Hitomi?"

Hitomi just sobbed. He was dead.

He was dead.

Van was dead. And then there was the blackness.

* * *

**Part 1**

Five years later.

"So Hitomi, do you want go out with Susumu and I tomorrow?" Yukari asked brightly to Hitomi on the train as they came home from a day in the city.

Hitomi sighed. "I really don't want to intrude on you and Amano-sempai, Yukari."

Yukari pouted. "You should stop calling him that. He's not your sempai anymore."

"I can't help it," Hitomi shrugged. "Anyway, tomorrow I have to go shopping with my mother. I'm leaving next week, remember?"

Yukari dramatically flopped back in her seat. "Of course I forgot that my best friend in the entire world in leaving for two years in just six days. Jeez, that's only why I wanted you to come out, stupid."

Hitomi hugged her. "Later we'll do something, I promise. Call me tonight?"

Yukari rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah. The things I put up with from you!"

The two women laughed as they exited the train and began to walk home.

* * *

Hitomi leaned back in her seat, stretching as much as she could in her small space of the airplane. It had been hours since her trip started but she hadn't even reached Vancouver to switch planes for another five-hour trip to Toronto. The thought of another minute in the air made her head hurt. The large man sitting next to Hitomi was sleeping and she wished she could do the same. She was bored out of her mind, and restless with it.

Her last month in Japan had been rather uneventful. She visited her family that lived out of town, received her passport and all of her other papers, shopped until she could not shop anymore, and had a very tearful goodbye with Yukari. She visited the Canadian Embassy for information and maps, and contacted her school for any updates. And of course, she called her aunt and uncle in Toronto to work out all the details of her arrival.

Shifting in her seat again, Hitomi took out an Advil and a Discman. She dropped her head back and stared at the ceiling. Somehow along the path of life, Hitomi decided she wanted to travel, and in her third year of university, chose an exchange to Canada. Living with her relatives in Toronto, she would attend classes at the University of Toronto to finish her degree. Her friends and family were surprised at her change in direction, but supported her choice. But no matter how they tried, they could not get Hitomi to explain to them why she wanted to move to Toronto so suddenly.

It was seven months ago when a movie in the video store caught her eye. It was some Canadian independent film that had caught some international buzz a year previous, and ended up in her neighbourhood for local video rental. Hitomi wouldn't have picked it up if it hadn't been for the man on the cover looking so familiar. At first she thought the actor looked like Amano. Suddenly another name ran through her head – Allen. Shocker, she had dropped the tape. Alan Cruse it said in the credits, but Hitomi knew it was Allen Schezar. She racked her brain to remember just who that Allen was, but she came up empty handed. All she knew was that she had met that actor, in what felt like another time and place. Thoughts raced through her mind as she tried to take it all in. One thought was in the forefront though – _I have to see him_. She needed him to tell her where they had met, why he seemed so familiar... why she felt like she could not remember a crucial part of her life. A quick search on Google led her to Alan's address in Toronto, and she began to plan.

On the plane, Hitomi shook her head and pressed her palms into her eyes. She was delusional. She sounded insane and she probably was. How many sane people run off to foreign countries because they recognized a guy on a video box? How many sane people believe they lived another life that they couldn't remember? Hitomi smiled grimly at the thought. Yes, she was definitely insane. But she could feel that something was missing; that she was forgetting something important. She wasn't sure that that feeling rationalized her running off to Canada, but Hitomi needed answers. Hopefully, Alan Cruse would be able to supply them.

* * *

Hitomi put up her sandy brown hair she had grown out into a sloppy ponytail as she slowly walked to arrivals after the ordeal of customs and baggage claim. She stretched her legs and tried to get the kinks out of her neck and she made her way to the waiting area to meet her aunt. Having not seen her in seven years, Hitomi was surprised to hear her name being shouted before a short, skinny woman in a well-tailored business suit ran towards her.

The woman stopped in front of her and gasped for air, holding a hand to her chest. "Ah, I'm sorry, Hitomi. I got caught up at work and then I couldn't get a taxi. Then there was the traffic and I forgot that I was supposed to meet you here, so I went to the terminal...and, oh, I'm Arisa Kanzaki, but you know that. Wait, you are Hitomi Kanzaki, right?"

Hitomi blinked. "Yes, I am. Nice to meet you, Aunt Arisa." She bowed, only to have Arisa look at her blankly.

"Not here in Canada," Arisa said as she crushed Hitomi in a hug. "And drop the 'aunt' bit. Your parents are a lot older than your uncle and I. I've barely hit thirty, so don't make me sound so old."

Hitomi was taken back at the informality. "Of course, A- Arisa." Her aunt smiled at her.

Her aunt was a shake-up to Hitomi's fairly strict upbringing but Hitomi was grateful to the woman for letting her stay in her home. Her father's brother's wife was a television producer, and looked and acted like a teenager. Her uncle Jiro was an accountant, and was as grounded as his wife was wild. Both had been ecstatic when Hitomi, their only niece, had asked to live with them for at least a year.

Arisa chatted and dragged Hitomi out of the building as Hitomi fell into auto-pilot. She was led to a taxi, then from the taxi to a house, in the house to a room, where the jet lag caught up with her and she crashed on the bed.

That night she dreamt of herself, and a mysterious man, tall and slim and with dark, Heathcliff-esque features. He was hauntingly familiar. Her heart tweaked as she awoke in the middle of the night, an unknown sorrow hanging over her. In confusion she hugged her pillow, desperately praying that Alan Cruse would bring everything to the light.

* * *

It was the sunlight shining through the gauzy drapes that woke Hitomi up the next day. Still groggy from hours on the plane, she tried to orient herself. Her room was small, with only a bed, a dresser, and a desk and office chair at furnishings. Her luggage lay haphazardly in a corner, where it was tossed the day before. Looking down, Hitomi was she still wore yesterday's clothes, which were wrinkled and stale. Pushing her hair back as she sat up, Hitomi saw a note on the desk with her name on it. She stumbled out of bed to get to it, and opened the drapes to let the light in. The clock on the desk told her it was ten o'clock, and that her aunt and uncle were at work. She picked up the note and a key dropped on the desk surface with a tinny clang.

The note confirmed that Arisa and Jiro were at work, and that the key was to the house if she felt the desire to leave. It also informed Hitomi that since it was Friday, the Kanzakis decided it would be nice to have a welcoming party for her that evening. It was summer dress, so if Hitomi wouldn't mind putting on something a little dressy, Arisa would really appreciate it. There was food in the fridge if she got hungry, and they would be home by five.

Hitomi sat down on the chair by the desk. She knew she was not up for a party, but she did not want to disappoint her family after all they had done for her. Standing up she stumbled out into the hall and searched for the bathroom, desperate to rid herself of that awful plane smell.

* * *

Hitomi sat nervously on a lawn chair in the garden. The small house was filled with loud laughing people that spilled out into the back yard. Light, jazzy music and candles set the mood for a summer get-together. Overwhelmed, she fidgeted with her hair and her sundress as she watched her aunt and uncle introduce their big, boisterous friends to her. And as nervous as she was, the friendly atmosphere caused a small, and the spectators would say sweet, smile on her lips.

There was a commotion inside, with the crowd calling out greetings to a newcomer and Arisa excused herself to go see who it was. Hitomi just sat there, sipping her soda and making small talk with a lovely old lady, a Mrs. Bolshiv, who lived down the street. Finally relaxing, Hitomi looked up as Arisa returned outside. Arisa was talking to a tall young man, wearing jeans and a button-down shirt. His longish dark hair fell into his face, and covered the back of his neck. After realizing her admiration for his rather nice build, she turned back to her conversation, a rosy blush staining her cheeks.

Arisa tapped her on the shoulder, and Hitomi excused herself to Mrs. Bolshiv. Standing up, she turned to face her aunt and her companion.

"Hitomi, I'd like you to meet our next door neighbour. He's a few years older than you, and works for his family's company downtown. Van Fanelli, this is my niece, Hitomi Kanzaki."

With wide, wet, green eyes, Hitomi stared at the man in front of her. From behind those long dark bangs stared garnet eyes back at her.

* * *

Author's note: This is the last time I'm writing this chapter ever again. After three years, and about four revisions, it is done!


	2. part 2

**Hen Dekigoto**

By Tig Jones

Disclaimer: Tenkuu no Escaflowne is owned by Sunrise and Bandai, and a whole bunch of people who aren't me.

_Last chapter _

With wide, wet, green eyes, Hitomi stared at the man in front of her. From behind those long dark bangs stared garnet eyes back at her.

**Part 2**

A wave of confusion washed over Van as he stared at the girl in front of him. She was fairly short, maybe 5'6" at most; he towered above her at 6'3". She was slim and delicate looking, her limbs long and thin. Her pale pink sundress emphasized her large, exotic green eyes, and flattered her peach complexion. Her golden brown hair glowed in the evening light, floating around her shoulders. Her pretty face looked back at him; a look of uncertainty lay on her features.

This was the girl who had haunted his dreams for the past five years. She looked different – older, taller, longer hair – but it was the same girl. In his dreams he was also younger, a boy king of another land. And this girl before him, Hitomi, was his mysterious companion, the girl from the Mystic Moon. But recently his dreams turned into nightmares – Hitomi leaving and then burning and the blackness.

"Van... Fanel...?" Hitomi's quiet whispered rocked him back into reality.

Van gaped, not believing what he had just heard. "No. It's Fanelli." Did she also know about Gaea? No, he thought as he looked at her face. She did not appear to be nearly as affected as he was by their introduction.

A rosy colour sat on her cheeks. "I apologize. I must have misheard."

"Van here is Spanish and Italian, and speaks both too. A gorgeous boy, but he just won't run away with me!" Arisa interjected, breaking the intensity between Van and Hitomi.

"Arisa, stop embarrassing me. You know I'm continually trying to steal you away from Jiro," Van smiled, relieved by the distraction. Hitomi was still staring at him though, with a look that shot right through him.

Arisa gave Van a bright smile. "What can I say?" she shrugged. "I love my man. Oh! Excuse me – I need to go say hello to some business associates." And with that, Van and Hitomi were alone.

After a short time, Van could not stand the silence any longer. And Hitomi's eyes were still boring into his soul. "Are you alright?" he asked.

Van watched in fascination as Hitomi rocked back and blinked, almost physically bringing her mind back from wherever it had wandered. She brought a hand up to her mouth in embarrassment. "I'm sorry. I... I was lost in a thought for a moment. I was thinking you seem very familiar."

He stiffened. "Do I?"

"I think I had a dream about you last night."

He couldn't believe it. Never in his twenty-four years had he felt so faint-headed. "Really?" he managed to rasp out, his throat dry.

"Yes. Sometimes I have prophetic dreams. My grandmother told me it was a gift. When I was younger I told fortunes, but I stopped when I was fifteen."

So she didn't remember him. She didn't share his dreams but she had her own. However Van knew that Hitomi was the girl from his dreams and Van didn't know what to do about it. All he knew was that he had loved this girl in some lifetime and he had lost her. Something told him he'd be a fool to do it again.

* * *

Hitomi tried not to ogle at the man in front of her. He was gorgeous, as her aunt had said. His voice was low and smooth, his body language casual and inviting. But it was his eyes that held her, those dark, intense (smoldering, the romantic inside her added) eyes that were both seductive and familiar. The instant attraction she felt for him was fierce and frightening, and she didn't know what to do with it.

Hitomi didn't consider herself shy, but she was not flirtatious, and she was feeling awkward. She desperately wished for something witty to say, especially after randomly blurting out that she had dreamt about him. This man in front of her would not stay there if she continued to stand there like a tongue-tied idiot. She was sublimely surprised when Van gently took hold of her arm in his large, warm, tanned hand and pulled her empty glass from her fingers.

"Let me refill this for you, and we can talk some more," he said, and turned to walk to a serving table.

Hitomi felt a rush through her body and felt her knees go weak. When Van returned, he cupped her elbow and gently led her to two empty seats away from the crowd. The flushed Hitomi was only too happy to comply.

* * *

Van wasn't sure when he took one of her hands in his, but he marveled at the softness of her skin, as he rubbed his thumb over her knuckles. She was speaking animatedly about her studies – how everyone thought she would continue running but how she instead chose to go into public relations. He listened with only half an ear though. He had to find a way to keep close to her. He silently congratulated himself on his stealthy maneuver to get her alone, but it wouldn't nearly be enough. But he also didn't want to scare her. Not only could he not tell why he wanted – no, needed – to be with her, but she was only twenty, staying in a new country.

Hitomi shifted in her seat, moving her hand in his slightly. Reflexively, he held it tighter, causing her cheeks to redden. Unsure of himself, Van loosened his grip. Maybe he was making her uncomfortable. He stilled and smiled broadly as she subtly but surely squeezed his hand with her own. Her entire face was red and her eyes were glued on the ground. With other women, innocence annoyed him, but Hitomi's was just endearing.

"What are you doing this summer?" he asked, desperate to know when he could see her.

Hitomi's forehead puckered as she tried to remember. "I'm working Mondays through Thursday at Arisa's studio for most of the summer. Besides that, I guess I'll just be exploring."

It was then that Van realized that the party has basically come to an end, and he and Hitomi were sitting alone in the backyard, with the only light coming from the lanterns, which cast dancing shadows around them. Standing up, he helped Hitomi up as well, and with her hand still in his, he escorted her to the porch.

"I guess I should be off. I live right next door if you ever want a tour guide, okay? I hope to see you again soon," he said, his melodious voice carrying in the night.

Hitomi just nodded and turned to go inside. Van frowned at her back, then left the backyard, missing Hitomi stop before she opened the door, holding a palm over her chest, as if trying to still her wildly beating heart.

* * *

Hitomi sat in bed, watching the moon through her open window, the drapes billowing softy with the late night breeze. Her aunt and uncle had gone to bed hours ago and the only sound was the clock on the wall, ticking away the seconds. She rested her back against the wall and pulled her sheet around her crossed legs. She was still exhausted from her journey but she couldn't sleep.

Van.

She couldn't stop thinking about him. It wasn't just his looks, which Hitomi could not help but admit were very nice, or the way he had moved his thumb over her hand, or the way he stared at her. It was that sense of familiarity she felt with him. She had a nagging feeling that she couldn't just chalk it up to that dream she had the night before. But there was no way she could have met him before, since this was her first time leaving Japan.

Hugging her legs and resting her chin on her bent knees, Hitomi sighed before shooting straight up with a strangled breath. Could it be that Van was the one she was looking for?

In the house next door, Van also could not get to sleep. He knew that seeing her beautiful green eyes in a dream could not compare to the real thing. He couldn't help but wonder what brought her to him. Was it just coincidence or was it something more? Van needed to believe it was fate that they met on this world, just like they had met on the other.

Van walked up his narrow staircase, his sweats riding low on his hips and scratched his bare chest as he wandered into his bedroom. He walked to his desk and unlocking the drawer, he pulled out a lacquered box. Inside was a notebook, filled with what he remembered from his dreams of Gaea; five years worth of memories of another lifetime. He thought that keeping a journal would help cleanse his mind, but night after night it was the same. He flipped through the book disenchanted, before tossing it on the desk. Reaching back into the box, Van rooted around until he felt what he was searching for. Walking to his window, he watched the moon illuminate the rose-coloured pendant that lay in his hand.

* * *

Lots of fluff and no plot – just how life should be.

This is dedicated to jaioublie who not only replied but did it twice! I did go back and fixed that typo (I'm a little anal retentive that way).

Sorry for any spelling mistakes or grammatical errors. I don't use an editor and I'm not too good at editing on the computer.

As a clarification, this story hasn't been sitting on my computer waiting to be finished for three and a half years. It first went up in the spring of 2001, I believe. Then I put up an edited version in the winter of 2001/2002. I fiddled with it again in early 2003 before removing it. Since it was my first chaptered fic, it's rather dear to me, so I wanted to have it done for good.


	3. part 3

Hen Dekigoto

By Tig Jones

Disclaimer: Tenkuu no Escaflowne is owned by Sunrise and Bandai, and a whole bunch of people who aren't me.

**Part 3**

Hitomi did not see Van for over a week following the party. Her aunt kept her busy with site-seeing, shopping, and her new job. She did these things with cheer and enthusiasm, yet she could not get Van off of her mind. Sure he was gorgeous, and seemed to be interested in her, but it seemed to Hitomi that it went beyond that. Beyond to what, she didn't know. Despite that feeling that she had, Hitomi knew she didn't come part way around the world to moon over boys, even boys as good looking as Van.

She was coming back from the store when she bumped into Van as he was getting off the streetcar. He grabbed her shoulders to prevent her from falling backwards. Instead, she fell straight into his arms. Van laughed as he helped her up.

He smiled at her. "Long time no see." Not quite comprehending the expression, Hitomi kept her head down.

Van bent down so that his head was level with hers and tried again. "Hi."

Hitomi tried to ignore the fact that her face was bright red. "Hello."

He stood up straight and, cupping her elbow, began walking towards their homes. "It's been awhile since we met. What have you been doing?"

Simple questioning allowed Hitomi to relax, and she chatted brightly about her visit the museum and the CN Tower, then laugh about her first few awkward days at work. The companionable atmosphere lasted all the way home. Before Hitomi could turn into her walk, Van caught hold of her wrist.

"Since it's a Friday night, why don't you come out with me and some friends? I'm sure Arisa hasn't shown you any of the nightclubs yet."

Hitomi's heart gave a little leap. "I'm not sure about that…"

Van tugged her wrist and gave a little mock pout. "C'mon!" he implored. "It will be fun, I promise." When he still saw hesitation in her eyes, his expression became more serious. He leaned closer to her. "I meant it when I said I hoped to see you again. Will you come out with me tonight?"

Her face flushed, Hitomi just nodded. Van grinned. "Great. I'll come around about eight, okay?" She continued to stand there as Van released her wrist and made his way into his own home.

"Right, Hitomi," she said to herself quietly. "Of course you did not come this far to meet a guy. Jeez."

Feeling awkward in a short skirt and tank top, Hitomi met Van on her porch at eight that evening. She was amazed that, even through her embarrassment, she could see a slight flush on Van's cheeks when he picked her up. Was she the one to do that to him? The idea gave her a fluttering thrill in her stomach.

Van smiled, all at once bashful and confident – a devastating combination. "Hitomi, you are looking amazing tonight… Honestly," he added, as she tried to shake her head in protest.

"You look nice, too, Van," she offered, while internally she berated herself for the incredible understatement. He was wearing a black button-down, with the cuffs pushed up to his elbows, and a slim-fitting pair of buff-coloured slacks. He looked casual yet well put-together and altogether handsome.

There was an uncomfortable moment where Hitomi and Van just sort of stared at each other until each was able to collect their thoughts and they set out for the evening. They pushed through the Friday night crowds into a small club that shook with bass and dripped of hipness. Van gave his name to the man at the door and someone led them to a table.

Never big on clubs and intimated by the people around her, Hitomi kept herself close to Van. Looking around, she realized something. "Van," she said as quietly as possible, given the volume of the music, "I don't mean to be insulting, be this does not seem like a kind of place you would go to."

Contrary to her fear, Van laughed pleasantly. "No, I'm not really cool enough to frequent joints like this. However, my friend considers himself a mover and/or shaker of the Toronto night scene, so he insisted I meet him here. He said something about how it would ruin his image if he wasn't hanging out an in "It" spot on a Friday." Hitomi giggled and Van couldn't resist touching her. Wrapping an arm around her shoulders, Van steered her to a table. "Here he is now."

In front of Hitomi stood a tall, beautiful blond man, with the deepest blue eyes she had ever seen. He extended an elegant hand. "You must be Hitomi. I'm Alan."

It was Alan Cruse. Allen Schezar. "Nice to meet you," Hitomi replied as they shook hands, annoyed with how weak her voice sounded.

Alan pulled out a chair and motioned for Hitomi to sit down. Van followed suit, his eyes scanning the area. "Hey, Alan, wasn't your girlfriend supposed to join us? What was her name? Buffy? Missie?"

Alan only raised an eyebrow at Van's comment, used to his jibes about his female companions. "Sadly, _Joanna_ and I decided to break it off. I thought I told you. No matter."

Van smirked. "You must be heartbroken. How long were you going out for? Two – two and a half weeks? That's a decently long time for you."

"We had run our course. It's clear that we weren't meant to be. Besides, there's no reason to be heartbroken when one's company is as lovely as mine." As smooth as can be, Alan winked at Hitomi.

Hitomi, surprised and shocked, flushed at the action. Unsure of how to react, she mumbled "thank you." She peeked at Van, but he was staring at Allen, disapproval marring his brow. What was this about?

Van was quiet throughout dinner, watching sullenly as Alan conversed with Hitomi. Damn it, he thought viciously, he wanted to have a night out with Hitomi. He figured that if Alan had his girlfriend there too, Van and Hitomi would have a chance to talk. But with Alan alone, his presence dominated. Certainly Van was not jealous of Alan, but he knew the power of Alan's charm and he had watch helplessly as Hitomi fell under it.

After the meal was over, Alan pulled an embarrassed Hitomi onto the dance floor, as Van watched them from the table. Ignoring offers to dance, he sat there and wondered if he had already lost her.

Again.

To him.

A quiet voice intruded on his thoughts. "Van?" He looked up and saw Hitomi standing before him. Allen was back on the dance floor, dancing with two gorgeous woman. He never changed.

Hitomi's face was red as she rolled her shoulders in discomfort. "Um… I was wondering if you wanted to dance… with me." She watched her fingers pleat her skirt as she avoided eye contact with him.

Inwardly delighted, Van merely raised an eyebrow at her. "I don't dance much..."

Hitomi's embarrassed turned to annoyance. "Fine! I just asked you since you looked so pathetic sitting here by yourself…!"

"But I'll make an exception for you," Van cut her off, before she could stomp her foot.

"Oh," was all Hitomi could manage before Van led her to the dance floor. The energetic dance music stopped and a sweet, slow melody filled the club. Suddenly extremely nervous, Hitomi placed on hand on Van's shoulder, while the other was held in his. She tried not to think about his warm hand on her back, pulling her closer to him.

Van, feeling how stiff she was, put his head closer to hers and whispered in her ear. "Just relax." As they moved around the floor in small smooth circles, she did just that. Her head rested on his broad chest as they moved closer together. Van just closed his eyes at the sensation. He had been waiting for this for too long.

In the early hours of the morning, Van and Alan sat in a taxi, a sleeping Hitomi between them, her had rest on Van's shoulder. Alan had an amused smile on his face. "She sure is adorable," he said to Van.

Van just scowled at him. "Sure."

Alan laughed mockingly. "Come off it, Van. For whatever reason you're completely smitten with her. Be careful. She's young, and your brooding intensity might be too much for her. As a matter of fact, you're young too. Why be so serious with her?"

"Alan…!" Van growled, which sent Alan into laughter.

"I'm serious!" he raised his hands defensively. "What kind of twenty year old girl wants the kind of lasting relationship you're promising with your eyes? As sweet as she is, does she really want that kind of commitment? You should be more like me. Enjoy women! Enjoy life!"

The taxi pulled in front of Alan's condominium and he stepped. Van glared at him over Hitomi's head. "Alan, you'd better not try anything…" Van warned.

Alan just smiled and shut the door, leaving Van and Hitomi alone.

* * *

Author's Note

I'm so sorry! I am honestly the worst at updating. I actually wrote the conclusion before part 3, so I knew where the story is going. And part 4 is almost done so there shouldn't be four months before the next update.

A big thank you for all who reviewed, and to everyone who is reading this in general!

Can I just say I hate writing Van. I try to keep him close to the series, yet I also add in other fanfic author's characterizations of him. Plus, he's nine years older than he was in the series, so I'm not sure how he'd age. Despite the number of fics I've written with him in them (all of them gone except for this one) I still can't write him the way I want to.

PS. Please check out my deviantArt stuff (link found on my author page)


	4. part 4

**Hen Dekigoto**

By Tig Jones

Disclaimer: Tenkuu no Escaflowne is owned by Sunrise and Bandai, and a whole bunch of people who aren't me.

* * *

Part 4

Hitomi sat at the desk in her room, attempting to write a letter to Yukari. She knew Yukari would love to hear all about the city, the shopping, the clubs, and the food. Yukari would also kill to hear about Alan and Van. Foreign men, she could hear Yukari sigh, so tall and masculine! Hitomi gave an absent smile at the thought.

She jumped when her aunt knocked on her door. Pressing at a hand to her chest to steady herself, Hitomi motioned for Arisa to enter. Arisa leapt on Hitomi's bed, and sat with her legs tucked under her, looking like a sixteen year old girl, instead of the woman she was.

"How are you finding everything, Hitomi?"

"Everything's great!" Hitomi enthused. "The language thing was a lot easier than I had anticipated. And everyone has been so kind."

Arisa grinned. "Like Van?" she asked slyly.

Hitomi was agog. She had never had an adult tease her about anything since she was a young child. And now her aunt was teasing her about, of all things, a boy. She flushed and did not reply.

Her aunt just laughed. "Sorry, Hitomi. It's none of my business. I've just noticed you've gone out with him a few times. I was curious to know if you were together."

"Together?" Hitomi repeated. "I don't think I understand."

Arisa pursed her lips together. "I mean are you two a couple? Are you seeing each other? Are you dating? Is he your boyfriend?

The pestering she imagined Yukari would lay on her was nothing compared to her aunt! Hitomi turned bright red and shook her head emphatically. "No!" she exclaimed. "We barely know each other. We are just friends!" Noticing the forceful tone she had taken, Hitomi took a deep breath to calm down. "Besides, we are usually accompanied by Alan, so it could not be a date."

Arisa pondered Hitomi's last statement, and thought about telling her naïve niece that it sounded that she wanted her time with Van to be dating, but instead she said, "That Alan is too smooth for his own good. You keep your eye out for him."

Hitomi looked skeptically at Arisa. "Alan has been very kind to me."

"I'm sure he has," Arisa said softly, "but Van is a really great guy. Don't let yourself be dazzled by Alan and forget that." Then and Arisa bade Hitomi goodbye and left her room.

Hitomi just stared at the closed door in puzzlement.

* * *

Van had invited Hitomi to meet him after work one evening. It was a cool, dry summer night and Hitomi was in a gay mood. As she glanced at Van, she thought back to what her aunt had said and blushed. But as Van looked at her questioningly, she pushed those thoughts out of her head and smiled at him.

"Where are we going?"

Van smirked. "It's a surprise."

Hitomi pouted. "That's not nice. Please tell me where we are going!" Van just shook her head.

The two walked side-by-side in companionable silence, their swinging hands brushing ever so often. Hitomi felt an encompassing sense of contentment that she could not explain, though she imagined to had a lot to do with the man beside her.

Van couldn't get what Alan said out of his head. Would his feelings really hurt Hitomi? He had been waiting so long for her. Only for her. She had to remember him. She had to reciprocate his feelings. How could she not?

But she clearly didn't remember. She didn't have to feel that never-ceasing ache he suffered as he thought about her all those years. It wasn't fair.

There was nothing he could do though.

Van finally stopped walking. "Here we are."

Hitomi found herself in a massive park, various gardens surrounding her. With the lake on one side and the city on the other, the green was a little piece of paradise.

"I didn't know these hidden spots existed in the city," Hitomi beamed as she glanced around the park. "All the flowers and the trees and the fragrances just makes you forget about the office buildings and the traffic and everything."

Van just watched her – her golden hair, her shining eyes, her soft lips, her sweet voice. He was barely able to suppress the explosive emotions he was feeling.

"It's strange," Hitomi said more quietly, her voice inflicted with confusion. "I have this image of the two of us in a garden, but we are younger. It's almost as if it were another time, another world." She shook her head. "That sounds like a bad, what are they called? Oh, a pick-up li…" Van grabbed her tightly, shutting her up completely.

She froze as he buried his face in her neck. "Van, what's going on?" she asked, panicked.

One of his hands found its way into her hair. "Oh, God. Hitomi," he groaned into her throat. "I need you so much."

Hitomi, scared and confused, tried to push him away, but he wouldn't move. Using all of her strength she shoved hard at his chest and he released her. Then she slapped him as hard as she could. Staring at him hard for a moment, she turned and ran.

As if coming out of a trance, Van realized what he had just done. Damn it, Alan had been right. He was too intense, and now he lost her. But he just needed to explain. He needed to make her understand. So he followed her, her stricken eyes burned into his thoughts.

Hitomi wasn't sure where she was running to, or what exactly she was running from. But Van had scared her and she just needed to distance between them. She continued running head long down the board walk until she ran into someone.

"Hitomi?"

For a moment she thought it was Van, but as he turned her face towards him, she looked into the blue eyes of Alan, who had been talking an evening stroll. Needing any sort of comfort, Hitomi hugged him tight.

Alan was taken aback. "Hitomi?" he asked again. "What's wrong?" She looked at him again. The sun was setting over the lake; the sky was orange and purple. Alan's eyes were soft.

Before either of them fully comprehended the situation, their lips met. As soon as Alan put any pressure into the kiss, testing the situation, Hitomi whirled away, only to see Van standing there. The look in his eyes pierced her to her soul and she ran again, ignoring Alan's shout for her to wait.

Van stood there, as emotions waved over him. Alan slowly approached him.

"It isn't what you think. The kiss was completely random – it took both of us by surprise. She wouldn't hurt you like that…" Alan paused. "You were with her, right? What did you do?"

Van started to run after Hitomi, ignoring Alan.

"Van, stop! She won't want to see you right now!"

Van kept on running.

* * *

Author's note

Oh, the angst. Second last chapter. That's about it. Reviews are appreciated.


	5. part 5

**Hen Dekigoto**

By Tig Jones

Disclaimer: Tenkuu no Escaflowne is owned by Sunrise and Bandai, and a whole bunch of people who aren't me.

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Part 5

Hitomi just sat on the porch steps, her forehead resting against her hands. All she could see was his eyes – that wounded look in Van's eyes made her heart ache. It touched her heart in such a way that it frightened her. It stirred a part of her that hadn't been accessed in a long time.

She had seen that look before.

In the glowing sun set after a late day shower, she had been in the arms of another man. As if being released from a spell, she turned from the embrace to see a boy watch her with that same forlorn look in his eyes, his damp hair sticking to his face. That boy; it was Van.

She herself had been just a girl. Alone and unsure in a strange world, she sought comfort. Van was also alone and unsure. With her young girl's naïveté, pride and ill-advised youthful ardor, she had hurt him after he had been hurt so many times before. And she had just hurt him again.

She had been in that strange world, and he protected her, and she hurt him. And while she later professed an eternal adoration for him, she still left him, both of them with scars on their hearts.

But then he had left her, left her thoughts, leaving her with the darkness, that void which abraded her heart for five years. Now, by whatever means, he was with her again, filling that hole, making her complete. Still naïve, she once more ran to another man, once more hurting Van – he who Hitomi's love for had saved a world.

Hitomi's hot tears fell into her lap. They were tears of pity for herself, tears of longing for the boy she once knew, and tears of pain for the man now. With her head down, those silent tears rushing down her face, she didn't notice the man travelling up the walkway.

It was his harsh breathing that alerted Hitomi to his presence.

"Van," she breathed as she looked up, her eyes red.

He took a step towards her, still winded from running about the city trying to find her, realizing belatedly in his frenzy that she would have gone home. His face was unreadable though, his eyes hard. The sharp edge in them made Hitomi bite her lip.

He took another step toward her with purpose. Hitomi stood up, ready to face whatever he put forth. Van stared at her hard for a second, before raising an arm. Hitomi braced herself for a slap, but started when he simply took hold of her upper arm.

"I'm sorry," he began, his deep voice full of meaning. "I thought I had outgrown that brash boy who couldn't express what he wanted and got flustered over a girl. But apparently he's still in there, and I guess I can't help because you fluster me."

He stopped, a blush making its way into his tanned handsome face. Hitomi just gaped at him as she attempted to compute what he just said. She looked into his eyes, desperately trying to find a response in hers. It was that look that made everything come together.

Before Van could blink, Hitomi launched herself at him, wrapping her arms around his back.

"Van, I'm so sorry. I remember now," she paused as he grasped her shoulders, pulling her back, his eyes searching her face. She nodded. "Everything.

"I thought I had outgrown that proud girl who didn't know want she wanted and couldn't see the boy in front of her. But I know now. I can see now. I'm sorry I hurt you again, but now I can see it's always been you."

Van hugged Hitomi to his chest. "For five years I've been dreaming of you; your eyes have haunting me. Five years of wondering if I was crazy. When I saw you, it validated my dreams, my nightmares. You didn't recognize me, but I knew I couldn't let you go, not after giving up whatever we could have had together in that other life."

Before Hitomi could say anything, Van, still holding her close, made his way into his own home, citing potentially nosy neighbours. Sitting her on the coach, Van realized he didn't know what to do with himself. He eventually sat down beside her, close, but not touching. The look on Hitomi's face had him worried.

"What is it?" he asked with concern. She blinked at him.

"You said that you've been having dreaming for five years," she stated and he nodded. "Five years ago… that's when the blackness started!" She learned towards Van and twisted her hands in his shirt. "I felt you die! Then there was the blackness and I forgot. I forgot everything about Gaea… I forgot you."

Van just rubbed his hands up and down her arms, wanting to purge the pain from her eyes.

"How did it happen?" she asked quietly. He didn't pretend to not understand.

With a bulk-shattering sigh, Van began. "It was four years after you left. Life continued as best it could. Fanelia had been rebuilt – Gaea, for the most part, had healed. I was attending a conference in Freid with Allen, as an envoy for Dryden. There was a fire and Allen and I both ran in to help rescue those trapped inside. A beam fell, knocking me to the floor. As the flames crept closer, my last thought was of you, and of how I wished I could see in the next life. I remember pain and then there was the blackness.

"Then I woke up. I was still nineteen years old, but now I was on Earth, the Mystic Moon, a Fanelli, not de Fanel. I had all these memories and experiences from both lives swimming around in my head, and it took me months to distinguish between the two. But I remembered you. You were the most real, most constant thing in my mind. And for five years I've been wondering if I'd ever see you again. I suppose eventually I would have gone looking for you, but if anything had happened, I wouldn't be able to stand losing you again, having you leave me again."

Hitomi sat there silently, tears running down her face. When Van moved to wipe her tears, she pressed her cheek into his palm. It was warm and strong – and Van's hand – and that comforted her. She tucked her legs underneath her and sat up. Cupping Van's face with her own hands, she looked straight into his warm eyes.

"We'll never lose each other again," she whispered. Van clasped her wrists and pulled her hands away from his face. He reached under his collar and pulled something over his head and held it out to her. It was her grandmother's pendant.

Her eyes went wide. "I thought I had lost it," she whispered in shock.

Van's lips moved into a faint smile. "For years on Gaea I thought it was broken. No matter how much I wished for it, I couldn't see you. Then on Earth, nothing happened either. But I realize that this is the only reason I was able to meet you. Just before the blackness, there was light. I think I saw you."

"I was thinking about you when it happened. And I thought I would die, which was nothing compared to feeling you fade away. I was so afraid…"

He bent his head towards hers and tasted the salt of her tears on her lips, cutting her off. Hitomi froze for a second, before letting out a sigh as her arms wound about his neck. And it was at that moment she knew she wouldn't be afraid again. She had found what she was looking for.

No longer was he hurting. No longer was she empty. That bond the shared had crossed time and worlds. No longer would they sit in darkness alone.

Now they would face it together.

Fin.

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Author's note

Gag gag gag. That's a disgusting amount of cheese. But at least it's complete cheese. Unless divine inspiration and motivation strike me, this will probably be my last Escaflowne fic. It's been four years. Too many people do it better than me, and I've moved onto other fandoms. Check out my Ranma ½ story, Shall We Dance? (my first and only of that fandom as well), as well as my Naruto stuff.

A few notes about writing the story. The parallels were taken from the series, as are my characterizations. I just know it better than the movie. Actually, I just watched the movie last week for the first time in about two years. It really doesn't make much sense, especially if you've never seen the series. Oh, but Yoko Kanno is a god. Hajime Mizoguchi is also amazing. Yes. I wrote that Hitomi doesn't generally use contractions when she speaks. This is because she's speaking a foreign language, and you usually aren't taught that much slang when learning a new language, in my experience. I know it reads strangely, but it was a creative choice. It's set in Toronto because it's my hometown and I feel comfortable writing about it. Plus, Toronto is all multi-cultural which is always fun.

As I've mention before, this is a major revision of a story I wrote in 2001, and later revised in 2003. The plot was similar to this one, with Hitomi coming to Toronto to stay with her aunt, Arisa. Arisa's home is based on my own aunt's house, which I love. Van was Sean Miyamura (Sean was a suggestion that I received when I asked my readers. Ryu was another popular one. How long did it take me to realize that Sean rhymed with Van? Too damn long), Hitomi's age this time, but still lived next door. Instead of only Allen (originally Terrance, only because thought that name was hilarious and I didn't like Allen at that point. Randy is currently my favourite funny name) and Van being reincarnated, many others were as well. Millerna (Sarah, as her middle name in the series was Sara), Eries (Elle), Marlene (Ingrid, as in the scandalous Ingrid Bergman), and Merle (Merrill). Folken and Balgus may have been around as, gasp, brother and caretaker of Van.

Here, Sean didn't look like Van, and Hitomi doesn't forget Van and feels guilty for loving someone else. But then Sean turns out to be Van and knew all along, or something. They get engaged, and lived happily ever after. It was more light-hearted and silly than this version turned out. I actually wrote eight chapters of an unfinished sequel where their daughter, Varie, goes to Gaea when she's fifteen. Dryden, Celena and Chid show up, as well as Celena's son, Gaalan, Allen and Eries' son, Grava (Millerna's gross dad's name), and Dryden and Millerna's daughter (Slyphy, as in the mermaid Dryden had). It turns out that those who were reincarnated on Earth (excluding those already dead) had been annihilated at a meeting/event by the Zaibach scientists. Then there was Dune (Folken's name in the movie), Van's half brother, who was created when his mother Varie had been captured when she went looking for Folken. Zaibach rises again; Varie and friends have to save the world – that kind of thing. The last written chapter had Varie escaping from her psychopathic uncle's cave by flying. It was a very stupid story.

Special thanks: jaioublie – always on my case about my typos. The anal-retentive in me thanks you. Just kidding (because it actually cries). Thanks for your constant and very flattering reviews. It really helps me to keep writing. Oh, about calling Hitomi short. I must have been writing in Van's point of view, since she'd be a head shorter than him. I'm only 5'2", and would die to be 5'6". I have a theory about how it's the perfect height for a girl which I won't get in to.

And: Demon Space Cow, f-zelda, chibihitomi, fireangel621, Inda, Anime Monkey, Joseph Hansel, Aja, Foxyfire, superbakagirl, long live the abh mation, Tora Tigera, Kat? – For everything from the 'plz update' to comments about my writing, I really appreciate all that you had to say. Even the little things help to motivate me.

Anyway, to all that have read and all that will read - Thanks for reading!

Emma

April 9, 2005 - Call it an early birthday present for Van (April 12).


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